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 這是在我同學的部落格上看到的文章,                                                                           

 看過後除了感觸,也有一種想要獨自去睡覺的想法..........                                              

                                                                                                                               

                                                                                                                               

 她坐上捷運,在沉靜了兩分鐘之後,發現她身邊的男友變成一隻犀牛。                                  

                                                                                                                               

 就像土地長年缺雨經歷時間的風乾逐漸沙漠化,她的男友在去年夏天漸漸染上犀牛化症狀。      

                                                                                                                               

 在電話裡,和朋友聊及:「昨天,我的男友又變成犀牛了。」                                             

 每次,他們都固定在星期六下午約會,吃了晚餐之後,在電視機前面準備做愛的情緒,            

 然後做愛和睡覺。                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                               

 隔天早上一起逛街,通常去書店、咖啡廳、唱片行,要不是就是選擇逛百貨公司。                  

 去年夏天,她突然發現兩人說是逛街,卻根本各逛各的。                                                   
 她在書店望著充滿知識焦慮症的人們佔據各角落,而男友就在人群裡被淹沒,                        
 以前,總是能輕易認出他的身影,現在卻要找好久,                                                         

 有時她根本認不出來,因為向她走過來的,根本就是一隻犀牛嘛。                                       

                                                                                                                               

 朋友聽完,忽然說:「我的前男友也曾有過同樣的現象。」                                                
 她曾經聽朋友描述過兩人合分的戀情,非常奇怪,                                                            

 犀牛化症狀總是發生在女人和男人的熱戀期結束,戀情穩定,                                             

 而男人正好當過兵出社會,尚未面臨中年危機的青年時期。                                                

                                                                                                                               

 在捷運上,犀牛男友透過PDA正在讀天下雜誌分析成功人士的秘訣。                                 

 而她望著地下道黑暗的窗上反射出男友頭上的角,輕輕碰觸他的手臂上面硬硬的殼,               

 她想起晚餐吃牛肉麵的時候,男友專注看財經報紙的神情。                                                

 她發現自己愈來愈不了解他,或者說,她該怎麼了解犀牛內心真正的想法?                           
 她怎麼能體會他這麼專注想要前往的那個方向?                                                               

                                                                                                                               

 朋友在電話裡對她說:「試著在生活中一起培養同樣的興趣嘛,這樣或許還有救。」               

 說到興趣,她想起男友說一個人多多少少也該有個興趣,於是開始迷上模型火車。                   
 這麼對朋友說的時候,朋友無奈地笑了。                                                                        
 「啊,我想起來了,我前男友倒是喜歡收集錢幣。」                                                         
 她也笑了,為什麼就連犀牛喜歡的興趣也無法了解?                                                         

                                                                                                                               

 從什麼時候開始,沉悶的空氣在兩人之間盤旋著,                                                            

 她望著玻璃窗,發現對面有個女人身邊也坐著一隻犀牛。                                                   

 玻璃窗上的女人對她微微一笑,她側過頭去看她,和她相視微笑,心裡有一種惺惺相惜的感覺。

                                                                                                                               

 想起朋友在電話裡說:「妳覺得他是犀牛,也許妳男友也覺得妳變成什麼奇怪的動物咧。」      
 她望著男友角旁細細的雙眼,她大概可以猜測他正在專注的方向,                                       

 她想起他所背負的沉重負荷,就像最近某家壽險廣告裡走鋼索的男人,                                 

 背上有父母,還背著一間房貸沒付清的房子,                                                                  

 未達成的理想和未達成的社會地位,未來也許會有孩子,                                                   

 現在身邊還牽著一隻愛玩的猴子。                                                                                 

                                                                                                                               

 牽著猴子走鋼索,男友有時想起她,會不會就是這種感覺?                                                

                                                                                                                               

 「抬起腳,我們在這一段跳個花步吧。」                                                                        
 「不是說好,在天氣放晴的時候要翻個跟斗嗎?」                                                            
 「有路可以走,為什麼偏要走鋼索?」                                                                           
 「不覺得我今天這件衣服很好看,和我的口紅很配?」                                                      

 走鋼索已經很驚險很累了,身邊還有一隻猴子一直不停地在笑鬧。                                       

 她想到這裡忍不住笑了起來。                                                                                       

                                                                                                                               

 望著男友,忽然問:「我最近看電視聽說禿頭可能是便秘造成的,你有便秘嗎?」                  
 男友皺起眉頭,露出猴子又在開玩笑的表情。                                                                  
 「沒有呀。」不懂她為什麼問。                                                                                    

 她鬆了一口氣,至少不必擔心男友可能會禿頭。                                                                

 已經是犀牛又禿頭又便秘的話,一定很慘。她想。                                                            

                                                                                                                               

 又是一片安靜。                                                                                                         

                                                                                                                               

 「我們已經到了無話可說的地步嗎?」她問。                                                                  
 男友瞟她一眼,又把眼睛盯在PDA上。                                                                        

 「要說什麼?」                                                                                                         
 她聳聳肩,自己也不知道要聊什麼。                                                                              

                                                                                                                                

 到了男友下車的那一站,他就走了。                                                                              
 她望著男友犀牛式的背影,心裡有點難過,眼睛濕濕的。                                                   

 幸好,他在上電扶梯之前忽然回過頭望著她,她認出他的身影,就微微一笑。                        

                                                                                                                               

 到了晚上,她透過電腦螢幕,和一個最近認識的網友聊天。                                                
 她按著鍵盤咑咑啦啦和他聊得很愉快,對方很會講笑話,有點像猴子也遇上猴子同一類的感覺。

 上個禮拜他邀她假日出來見面,她拒絕了,因為和男友有固定的約會。                                 

                                                                                                                               

 今天,他又問她一次。                                                                                                
 明天部隊放我特休,怎麼樣?                                                                                       
 她忽然想起男友當兵的時候也像猴子一般單純愛笑,而且那時他們正值熱戀期,                     
 就算只是在地球上走來走去也都覺得好好玩。                                                                  

                                                                                                                                

 她在電腦前不禁發了好久的呆,最後嘆了一口氣,                                                            

 她實在不想再次目睹男子出了社會犀牛化的過程,                                                             

 於是她找了藉口拒絕他。                                                                                             

                                                                                                                                
 關掉電腦,她輕啜一口茶,感覺杯子的溫熱,然後決定獨自去睡覺。                                     

                                                                                                                                
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